she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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