I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think i have herpe
just one?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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