Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
