Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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