this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My vagina just recognized that song.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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