I think i peed on brittanys purse
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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