FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
