My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
