I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
