the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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