Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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