I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
