I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
