if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize