All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
