I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
