im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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