Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
