the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
