Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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