my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
