If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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