Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
