Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
