Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
