You're a womanizer and a bitch.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
