the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
