he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
God I need to hump something, right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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