he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
