Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
