I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
