I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Mom said you looked used
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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