I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
