she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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