Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
