idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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