you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
