My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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