He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
