She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
