If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
