I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need to sanitize my soul.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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