She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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