he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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