Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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