his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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