Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
