Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Say something about gay babies.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
