I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
