The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
