the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
