Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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