While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
