Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
