dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
