Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
