we made out on top of his cat.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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