question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
