I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
