Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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