Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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