we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
