You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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