you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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