I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The feeling are messing with the penis
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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