This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
