u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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