I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Less talking, more tequila
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
