That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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