Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
